My Funny Valentine
by thepiraticalconductor
Summary: Candy roses, Cadbury eggs and an unlikely attraction fill the halls of McKinley as Valentine's approaches. Fluffy. Pairing: Puck/Lauren


**Luck is quickly becoming the OTP of my heart. Ashley Finks makes me laugh every week she's on and I think Lauren would finally whip Puck into shape. We all know about her love of candy, and what holiday, aside from Halloween, is more famous for candy overload? Valentine's Day. Are her and Puck a match made in heaven? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Only time will tell. Enjoy.**

* * *

Noah Puckerman couldn't remember the last time he had been intimidated by anyone. Especially when that anyone was a girl. Yet, here he was, cowering outside the AV room, clutching an extra large box of Cadbury eggs, waiting for Lauren.

Every once in a while, he would peer through the window, focusing his eyes beyond the annoying cross hatch, and catch a glimpse of her. She was bent over a computer, a bunch of recording tapes scattered around her. She had tied her hair into braids, but her bangs kept falling into her face. Noah couldn't help but be amused by her increasing annoyance at them.

_Her hair looks better when she wears it long,_ he found himself thinking. _Prettier._

Since when had he found Lauren _pretty? _Since when had that even been a possibility? He shrugged and opened the door. He had been waiting for half and hour and people were starting to stare. Maybe he should have waited until after school, but that would have meant doing this in front of the entire glee club.

And there was no way in _hell_ Noah was doing this in front of the entire glee club.

Lauren didn't look up as he approached her, too engrossed in whatever video she was editing.

"What do you want, Puckerman?" she snapped, viciously clicking the mouse. "Figgins has been all over me to finish this football video. Make it fast." Noah shuffled up to the table without speaking and held out the box of candy.

"This is for you."

Lauren looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. "You already gave me my fee for Sectionals, Puckerman. Why so generous?" she asked, quickly looking away. She didn't want him to see her blush. The first time he had given her candy was just because she'd asked. She had asked that fake Santa for him to love her, but that wasn't going to happen. So…why was he being so nice to her? It wasn't the first time…

"I know," Noah said, his voice talking over Lauren's thoughts. "But I wanted to ask you something and you're usually a lot easier to talk to you if you have chocolate in your hands," he laughed under his breath. Lauren eyed him warily before taking the box of Cadbury eggs, turning it over in her hands and carefully opening it at one end. She lifted one egg in front of her nose, looked it over and popped it into her mouth, smiling at the crunch of the candy coating and the sweet milk chocolate. _Damn, those Brits know how to do it,_ she sighed inwardly.

"So, what did you want to ask me?" she asked. She dug a bowl out from under a pile of tapes and poured some eggs into it so she could eat while editing. Avid was being even more of a bitch than usual and the sounds of the crowd cheering just _wouldn't _sync to the video of the final touchdown from their last regular season game.

"Well…you know how we've sort of gone out a few times," Noah began. "I mean, most of the time we were just sitting around and my mom was making us dinner, but it was still kind of a date." Lauren's eyes shot to him on the word 'date'. It wasn't like she hadn't thought it at the time, but still. Puckerman was a fox. They ran in totally different crowds until recently. Why would he think of her that way?

"So what I wanted to know is…will you be my Valentine?" The words sounded foreign on Noah's lips. The last time he had asked anyone to be his Valentine it had been fourth grade and he had made the mistake of asking both Santana and Quinn. Madness, screaming, and lots of braid pulling, had ensued. As much as Noah enjoyed two hot girls fighting over him, he was sure he wanted to ask Lauren this year. She was kind of his girlfriend, after all, no matter what he had said to Quinn about "not digging on fat chicks".

_Fat. _

Why did that word sound so offensive now? Sure, the only time he had been with Lauren and her clothes had been off, it had been in a pitch dark closet, but the experience hadn't been horrible. Quite the opposite, actually.

"Ex…Excuse me?" Lauren stammered. She couldn't believe her ears. "You want me to be your _what_?"

"Valentine. Girlfriend. Main squeeze on the fourteenth day of February. You know…" Noah sighed. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I guess I could ask…"

"NO!" Lauren exclaimed, much louder than she had intended. "No, I'll be your Valentine. That's fine. Perfectly fine." She reached haphazardly for a handful of eggs, trying to avoid the look Puckerman was giving her. Lauren knew she liked him, but to let him know it was something else entirely. She knew how Puckerman treated the girls he dated, and while he hadn't shown any indication that he would do that to her, she couldn't be sure.

Noah smiled, leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks, Lauren. What do want? Chocolate hearts? Chocolate roses?" he asked, enthusiasm dripping from his voice.

"Actually…you know that teddy bear they have at the new Build-A-Bear-Workshop at the mall?" she asked, looking down at the keyboard. "The white one with the all the red hearts on its fur?" Noah nodded. "Do you think…do you think you could take me to make one? I know it's a Monday this year, but-,"

"Sure," he said. "Sure. Sounds like fun. Do they have other animals there? Like, lions or guard dogs?"

"I think so," Lauren shrugged. "Only way to find out is to go, Puckerman. And a box of chocolate roses would also be greatly appreciated." A very rare smile crossed her face and she finally met his eyes. Noah loved when she smiled. Her face was a little shapeless when she didn't, and the change made her eyes light up.

"Done. Milk Chocolate? Cadbury's, just like you like?" he asked. Lauren nodded. "Great. It's a plan. Oh, by the way, my mom invited you over for dinner this weekend. I think she wants to try some more kosher meals and she needs a taste tester. I told her you'd come, but if you don't want to, that's fine."

"No, I like your mom, even if she doesn't believe in the healing power of bacon. Her sweet potato fries are the bomb." Lauren laughed and finished her bowl of eggs. "I really do have to finish this video, Puckerman."

"Oh, yeah. I'll see you at Glee, I guess," he shrugged, still smiling. "Bye, Lauren." He bent to kiss her cheek again and strode out, closing the door on his way out. More than one football player stared as he walked away, looking between him and Lauren with an air of vague disgust. Lauren didn't care. She just tucked the rest of her box of eggs into her bag and kept working on her video, occasionally brushing her fingers across the spot Puckerman's lips had touched.

No one had ever asked her to be their Valentine, and yet Noah Puckerman, the hottest guy in school, had just asked her to be just that. They were going to do normal, couple things, full of a disgusting amount of red, hearts, and chocolate. Even though Lauren would never openly admit it, she knew Puckerman had only become interested in her because of glee.

Maybe show choir wasn't so stupid after all.

* * *

_My funny valentine_  
_Sweet, comic valentine_  
_You make me smile with my heart_  
_Your looks are laughable, unphotographable_  
_yet your my favorite work of art_

_Is your figure less than Greek?_  
_Is your mouth a little weak?_  
_When you open it to speak,_  
_are you smart?_  
_don't change a hair for me_  
_Not if you care for me_  
_Stay little valentine_  
_Stay_  
_Each day is valentine's day_

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**Ah, fluff. It cures all ills. Reviews are, of course, always appreciated. This is the first thing I have written in quite awhile, so please be kind. Also, NEWS. I have a Tumblr, also known as the best site on earth. Feel free to follow me or drop a line at mybloodismyink(dot)tumblr(dot)com. **

**With love, **

**Rachel**


End file.
